...old people!
Now don’t get me wrong—I actually love old people. Heck I am one (well, just about). Here's the story:
Last Tuesday, I was picking up my 96 yr. old friend, Louise to take her to lunch. I asked Butch the day before if I could borrow his car as I knew that Louise would not be able to get in my Jeep. He reminded me that we were taking his car in for service. OMGosh! What are the odds that he’d make an appointment on the one day of the year I needed his car—but that’s a different frustration. Back to old people. Taking old people out is quite an ordeal. Everything takes long. Really long.
Getting her in to the car: pull up to curb; get out and go inside to walk her out; help her in the car; stow her cane; juggle her purse; help with the seatbelt; hand her her purse (let me stop here and say, to her it's a "pocketbook"--I'll keep calling it a purse); close the door. Whew, we're off!
As we’re driving out of the parking lot she says, “This is my treat!” I say, “No, it’s my treat!” She says, “Well okay honey, if you’re sure.” End of that argument.
We arrive at J. Alexander's: get her out; hand her the cane; walk her to the bench; hand her her purse; park car; juggle her purse along with my own; walk her inside; take her coat; get her settled at the table; stow the cane and hand her her purse. I hand her the menu and ask her what she wants for lunch. She asks me what I’m getting. I tell her that I’m getting a salad. She says she doesn’t want a salad. I say, “Do you want soup and a sandwich or a bigger meal so you can take home leftovers?” She’s thinking. She’s looking at each item. Even when she knows right off the bat that she doesn’t want the trout, or the steak, or the Nashville “hot” chicken, she has to read the complete description of each thing--out loud. Then she says she thinks she’ll get the salmon. Then before she can take a breath, she immediately says, “No, I’m not going to do that to you! It’s $31.00!” I tell her to get it. We argue back and forth about it. Then I say, “Actually, it’s only $15.00 because you are going to get a second meal out of it.” She fell for that. I wanted her to get what she really wanted. Now she has to decide the sides. We go round and round, “Well, do you like broccoli? Would you prefer Cole slaw or orzo pasta salad?’ “Honey, what’s that?” Now I defy you to try to explain what orzo is. I try, “it’s pasta that looks like…” here I stop myself. I was about to describe the shape of the pasta like a lightening bug. I stumble around and finally say, “well it must be good because it’s on the “specialty” list.” She gets it, it wasn’t good!
After lunch: she asks, “Honey do I need lipstick?” I say, “Not really, we’re just going home.” As if I didn’t say a word, she roots around in her purse and finds her lipstick and compact. Once her lips are ready to go, so do we. I get her out of the booth; put on her coat; hand her the cane; juggle her purse along with my own; walk outside; park her on the bench; retrieve the car; get her in the car; stow cane; help with seatbelt; hand her her purse. Whew again!
Okay, now I only have to get her out of the car back at “the home.” That’s when she says, “Honey, would you mind stopping at the post office so I can get some Christmas stamps?” I’m thinking, “Okay, well, it’s a little out of the way but no big deal.”
We arrive at the post office and park. That’s when she says she wants to go in so she can pick out the stamps she wants. I thought I would just run in. No such luck. So, I consider backing the car out to pull her up to the curb. I’m already parked directly across from the door, so decide we’ll just walk. I get her out of the car; juggle purse, same routine, yada yada.
When we get inside, the line is almost to the door! OMGosh this is going to take forever because, of course, this is the post office. Despite having 5 windows, they only have one person working. There are 14 people ahead of us in line. Most juggling a stack of packages since the next day is the last day to guarantee Christmas delivery. Soooo, we get in line. After only about 2 minutes, Louise says she needs to sit down. I get it. But it’s not like the post office offers chairs. They don’t want you there to begin with, they are definitely not going to offer comfortable seating! I find a place to let her sit which is actually the front part of the sales shelf. I tell her to be careful not to slide off as there isn’t much room and the front is rounded.
Then I proceed to stand and wait. And wait, and wait…
Finally, another woman comes out and starts working. I’m happy that maybe things are going to start moving. No such luck. I’m aggravated at how many people are not ready when they approach the counter. They are asking for things to mark their packages—including tape, marker, “fragile” stamp, etc. It’s not long before the first clerk LEAVES! What? You’ve got to be kidding me! There is no better place to witness workers who could care less about their customers that the post office!
Someone in line says, “looks like we came at lunchtime!” Uh, no—it’s 1:30—way past lunchtime! I think it’s nap time! At least it’s MY nap time! So now it’s back to waiting some more. As the line draws closer, I turn around and realize that Louise has come back to the line with me. After another minute, she needs to sit down again. I’m planning to walk her back to the “shelf/seating area” when she says, “No, I don’t want you to lose your place in line. I’ll go by myself.” I’m not about to risk a fall. The lady behind me says she’ll hold my place. Gee, thanks.
Finally, it’s our turn. We approach the counter. Louise says she wants to buy Christmas stamps. The clerk pulls out three styles. Louise says, “Honey is this all you have?” Yep, that’s it. Louise asks, “Do you have any with little dogs on them?” The clerk says, “Nope, this is all we have.” Louise says, “What about little cats? Do you have any with little cats?”
I will say that the clerk was very patient although bored and couldn't care less is probably the more accurate . “No, this is all we have. We do have some with cats and dogs, but they are not Christmas stamps.” Louise says, “Oh yes, let me see those.” Clerk gets out those. I have to admit, they are very cute. Louise: “Oh honey, that’s exactly what I want!” The clerk has to go to the back to get another sheet. When she returns, Louise says, “Do you have any religious Christmas stamps?” This time, the clerk doesn’t say anything. She just points to one of the 3 sheets that she first got out. Louise says, “Oh honey, that’s it! I’ll take on of those too!”
I pull her wallet out of her purse. She opens it and gets out her Kroger card. I say, “Louise, that’s your Kroger card.” She has a couple of cards. I try to help. She says, “Oh no not that one!” And points to her Discover card. I pull it out. We complete the transaction. She hands me the stamps, I put them in her purse. We turn to walk away. I give everyone in line an “I’msosorrythistooksolonglook!” About that time, the next man walking up says, “Excuse me, you dropped this.” OMGosh! One of the sheets of stamps had fallen to the floor without me realizing it. Sheesh!
Then it was back to the car—you know the routine by now. When we pulled up in front of “the home” I got her out and inside. I went to hug her and she started to cry. It broke my heart! She told me she loved me, blah, blah, blah. To myself, I vow to get her out more often. Now, she has a daughter who lives a few blocks away and is very good to her mother. So, I don’t feel bad like she has no one and is stuck at her place all the time. I just feel bad that she seems to be sad. I’m not quite sure what the tears mean. Maybe they were tears of happiness. Yeah, that’s it. I make her happy. Heck, I try to make everybody happy! I have to learn to let these little frustrations go! After all, it’s Christmas! And I get to do this all over again in two weeks when I take her out for her birthday!
Honestly though, it's a very small price to pay for the happiness I know it brings. I do love old people! Always have. Now I just need me some young friends!!
Here's a picture of Louise and me from last year:
She said that sunglasses make her look more glamorous. I said I wanted to look more glamorous too! I think she is right about that.
PS Did you know that December 19th is the anniversary of the publish date of Charles Dickens A Christmas Carol in 1843? So, in honor of the 180th anniversary, I'm having a Charles Dickens party with my book club! I thought my book club was the perfect group to toast CD! Really, any reason to have a par-tay!
Let me know what parties you are having this holiday season!
