We started with just about nothing—we bought our wedding rings on the “90 days same as cash” plan. We planned our wedding in the backyard in just one week. My mom made it really nice for us.
Our furniture was all cast-offs from people’s smelly basements—until he bought some cheap, black, plastic/vinyl furniture more suited to a bachelor pad—right before popping the question, so I didn’t get a say! We went to the back room of a furniture rental place where they sold the pieces they could no longer rent. We bought two snack tables at Target for $3.00 that we put side by side to serve as our coffee table. We had a card table and two chairs for our kitchen set. We had bricks and boards for a bookshelf. We started with a borrowed bed and then a year later, we bought our first bedroom set—wood-like plastic—for $350 which we sold ten years later in Kansas City for $400!
Soon after our wedding, Butch started college. He worked all day and went to school at night. He didn’t get home until about 10:30. I worked and spent most evenings with my family. There were many times I wasn’t very supportive. I didn’t expect to get married and see less of him! Still, he persisted.
Sandy came along that first year and we couldn’t have been happier. Butch never wanted to talk about baby names. He pooh poohed everything I came up with. He was insistent that if we had a boy, he’d be named Walter after his brother! It wasn’t until I was in labor and on the way to the hospital that he suggested Sandra—not Sandy, Sandra! So there it was, her name—which quickly became Sandy. My favorite thing about Butch was his love for her. I couldn’t believe how he was with her—anything she wanted! He just seemed to be in awe of her. Life was good—still hard financially, but good from a personal standpoint.
We—I say that because I usually went along with whatever your dad wanted to do—he decided to leave the tv business for the parking business. That decision was based solely on the fact that they would pay for his education—even though the pay was less. He really had no desire to work in parking. His office was in a dark parking garage. As it turned out, he was really good at it and began to like it. Promotions came pretty quickly—along with small pay increases.
We were ready to buy our first house, but the deal fell through because of a bad roof. The owner wouldn’t budge on the price and we didn’t have the extra money to fix it. I cried and cried and felt like buying a house was hopeless and forever out of our reach. The very next day, we found out that Butch was being promoted and we were moving to West Virginia! Things really do happen for a reason!
While he was house-hunting in Charleston (I was too pregnant to go), I was staying at my mom’s house. I had NEVER done that since we’d gotten married. It was fortuitous that night! Little did we know that Stephanie would come along then. Butch managed to get home the next day. As he was holding her, he said, “how about Stephanie?” And that was it. Decided! I was afraid he was going to be so disappointed that it was another girl. He said that he was most worried that he couldn’t love a second child like he did Sandy. But he was smitten all over again. Now he had two little girls that were the apples of his eye.
Just a month later, we moved to West Virginia on January 1st, 1977. As we were driving out of St. Louis, I was crying—the responsibility of a newborn without my support system (my mom, grandma and 4 sisters) seemed daunting. Butch said, “Barb, look at it this way, we’re on a new adventure!” Little did he know that was the understatement of our entire life! When we got to Charleston, we ended up sleeping on the floor because we ran out of money. Our 3 year landlord cheated us out of our deposit—which we’d planned to use to cover moving expenses. Of course, Central Parking paid for the move, but we were to submit an expense voucher AFTER the fact. We stayed in a smelly, cheap, buggy hotel for just two nights. When our furniture didn’t arrive, we went to Kmart and bought a rug, a couple blankets and two cheap pillows. The apartment people felt sorry for us, so loaned us a couple chairs from the laundromat. Since Steph was a baby she had to sleep on the kitchen counter. Finally, after 2 weeks, our stuff arrived.
Little by little, things got better and better. We moved to Louisville. Your dad got a company car and we became a two car family! I knew things were getting better financially when we no longer had to cash in soda bottles for gas money—AND—we could afford real butter! After 7 years, we were finally able to buy our first house.
From there it was a pretty quick rise for us. After 10 years, Butch finished school and was then promoted to a regional vice-president. We moved to Kansas City where life was good. We eventually bought a rustic (okay, just really old) house in the Lake of the Ozark where we met St. Louis family most weekends. We were living the life!
We made friends everywhere we lived. We really had a great circle when the promotion to Senior Vice-President happened. It was hard to leave Kansas City, but we knew we loved the south since living in Louisville and were looking forward to our move to Nashville. Of course, with us, we never did anything easy. This time, Mindy was on the way. In fact, we found out we were expecting AND about the move on the same day!! Talk about life stressors!
Once again, Butch didn’t really want to discuss names. He was sort of in denial about the whole situation. About two weeks before the baby was due, I said, “This baby is a reality and we need to talk about it!” So, we had a family meeting. We decided to let Sandy and Stephanie in on the decision for her name. It didn’t really matter as Butch named Mindy—as he had Sandy and Stephanie! He would come up with just one name and I agreed. I wouldn’t have if they weren’t good names! But really! He never really considered anything else.
By the time Mindy came along, I really wanted another girl. I was used to them. He sort of felt the same way. This time, it was different. Mindy was doted on by the whole family! She was 6 weeks old when we set off for Nashville. We got pretty good at moving with a newborn!
We all spoiled Mindy from the start. But the reality is that Butch doted on ALL of his girls. To this day, anything they want—they only have to ask. This now extends to ALL of the grands! He’ll do anything for our family. I love that the most about him.
Life seems like it’s moving way too fast now. I had no idea that when it came down to it, we’d be happier the older we get. But it’s true. That just seems like a bonus! We love our family and our life. One thing is sure—he was right! it’s been a great adventure and I wouldn’t trade a single part of it! I love this guy so much and can’t wait to see what happens next!!
Oh, and by the way, I proved him wrong! Two didn’t live as cheaply as one! I had no trouble spending his money! Okay, it was my money too!
What a great story! It's important to remember just how hard the early years can be, but boy don't you appreciate it when you move on up and don't have to scrimp and save any more? You're great role models for your gorgeous girls!
ReplyDeleteOh I loved hearing about the life adventure the two of you have been on as your family has grown. So glad you shared.
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