Me on Monday

Public Service Announcement for the Aging!

Signs of aging nobody tells you about:

*No one tells you about the effects of gravity.

*No one tells you that the floor is going to be closer than before and trying to pull you                         down. 

*No one tells you that when you land on the floor, it’s going to be oh so much harder to get up.

*No one tells you that when you are dancing and spinning, that gravity will keep you spinning until you fall down making it that much harder to get back up. No alcohol needed.

*No one tells you that your eyelids will disappear making eye shadow unnecessary unless you want blue eyebrows!

*No one tells you that your eyelashes start to fall out and re-root on your chin.

*No one tells you that the plumpness of your cheeks re-locates to your neck.

*No one tells you that your upper lip will start to disappear. 

*No one tells you that your lipstick will pool in the corner of your mouth making you look like the old lady that you actually are.

*No one tells you that your lipstick will bleed into the lines around your lips. Heck no one tells you that you will actually get lines around your lips.

*No one tells you that things on the inside of your body will start to shift downward. ‘Nuff said. If you know, you know.’

*No one tells you that getting in and out of the tub will be so hard. Not good for a bath lover. 

*No one tells you that if you use bath oil, you’ll be stuck in the tub until the second coming!

*No one tells you that your armpits reposition to the inside of your upper arm.

*No one tells you that your b**bs are going to drift down to your waist.

*No one tells you that your knee cap skin starts heading south.

*No one tells you that your toes take on new shapes.

*No one tells you that the holes in your pierced ears will be harder to find. Apparently they moved too.

*No one tells you that each day is a brand new discovery! 

No one tells you that you are on your own navigating all of the things! 

Basically no one tells you anything.