I recently read an article about a new concept in weddings. Apparently, it is now acceptable for people getting married to ask their guests to pay $75.00 per person for their dinners. What??
My first thought is this is crazy! Yes, I know how expensive weddings are. And, I don't even know how you can do it in a reasonably priced way. Venues are expensive, food is expensive, liquor, the cake, floral arrangements, band, transportation and parking--the list goes on and on. Still, I think asking your guests to pay for their meals is a bit much.
Paying $150 per couple for a mediocre meal seems like too much to me. We have our favorite restaurants where we can go for much less than $150 and can rely that we'll get a great meal. I know when it comes to weddings, it's not about the meal. But, it just reminds me of what my dad used to say: "If you can't afford to pay the babysitter or leave a server a decent tip, then you shouldn't be going out!" I agree with this.
So, when it comes to weddings, I would say this: If you can't afford what you want to do, then you need to cut back on the guest list or any of the other items to reach what you can afford. Or don't do it. (Have you seen the Netflix show: Marriage or Mortgage? It surprises me at how many people will spend their 50K on a wedding rather than a mortgage.)
Really, I think about the only affordable way to do weddings these days is the way Butch and I did it--my backyard with a justice of the peace (got married in the church later), my mom and grandma did all the food (being Italian, pasta is cheap), the cake came from a reasonably priced local bakery, we didn't have any fancy flowers, champagne punch and beer for about 50 guests. Oh, and my wedding dress was the one I bought for my bowling banquet (side note:It was $45.00 and I had it on lay-away for 3 months. Little did I know it would become my wedding dress!) Our wedding was so much fun---more like a big party. I give my mom all the credit. She made it really nice for us.
Personally, I won't be attending any weddings where I have to pay for my dinner. Instead, I'll take that money, go to one of our favorite places and toast the happy couple! Yeah, that's it!
I haven't heard this before but am sure it is only a matter of time before the idea crosses the Atlantic! It is quite common now for people to ask for contributions to honeymoons or house deposit instead of a gift but not for the actual wedding meal!
ReplyDeleteSo are you also supposed to gift them a gift as well? I am sorry, but that is tacky! I do believe weddings are now overblown -- it is all about having the staged photos for social media.
ReplyDeleteLooking back if I had it all to do over again, I would have done ours differently, only because I would have moved it up and downsized it when hubby took a job out of town 6 months before the wedding. Being an introvert, I would have been just as happy with a crowd 1/3 the size. We certainly didn't spend nearly what today's couples do, even adjusted for inflation. So we were able to have a house down-payment just a couple of years later.