Just Another Day in Paradise

Okay, here's how it went down.

We have friends that bought a farm in Duck River, TN. So, we decided last night that we would "take a ride" in the country and surprise them. I had been there a month or so ago for a girls scrapbook retreat, but Butch hadn't. I Mapquested it since I knew I would never be able to find it again.

Butch wanted to drive his '93 Corvette, so we took off. We did a couple of errands first, but it was about 10:00 when we got on the road. We're driving along, enjoying the beautiful countryside on the Natchez Trace Parkway, and actually talking---having a really nice time just being together. I was feeling all warm and loving, like, "oh, just like the good old days, hanging out together and having fun". The farm is an hour and fifteen minutes away. It was a little chilly, so we didn't have the top down. However, Butch had his window open. I asked him to close it since it was noisy and blowing me to bits. I said if we couldn't have the top down, it was stupid to have the window open. He must have been having a good time too, because he just rolled it up without a word.

We finally reached the road our friends farm is on and Butch said, "you've got to be kidding me! You never said anything about a dirt, gravel road. There's no way I'm taking my car down that road". To which I responded, "hello, farm, country---what would you expect? And besides, even though I was just here a month or so ago, I have no recollection of the dirt road, so obviously, it didn't spit rocks up onto my car". A little more grumbling and he turned down the road. I looked at his digital speedometer, we were going 4 miles per hour. I could have walked along side the car faster! After a bit, we came upon a speed limit sign of 30. He said, "there's no way in hell you can do 30 on this road". To which I responded, "well, if it says 30, then I probably did 30 with my car and didn't notice any rocks hitting me". He ignored me. Maybe we went about a half mile and came to a very steep hill. He stopped and said, "no way"! And then, "how can you not remember this road from just a month or so ago" Having no defense to that, I didn't say anything. (To myself, I was thinking, I was busy gabbing with my girlfriends). At this point, he turned around and headed back to Nashville---in a different direction. I had taken this direction with my friends when we were returning, so was familiar with this route. However, a few miles down the road, Butch saw a sign for I-40 and decided that would be faster. Little did he know that I-40 was about 30 miles down that road. By this time, I'm not happy. I'm thinking, "here I was having such a nice time and now he's ruined it". I'd been giving him the silent treatment since we turned around which is stupid because he never, ever, realizes I'm giving him the silent treatment.* Since he's a man of few words, he doesn't talk enough for me to make it clear that I'm NOT talking to him. I decided to take a nap. We finally reached the interstate and had to be closer to Memphis than Nashville. After my nap, Butch asked me where I'd like to have lunch---just like everything is hunky dorry. I replied curtly, "I don't care". He suggested a few places, I again said, "I don't care, you pick"! We ended up at Cracker Barrel. I couldn't stand the silent treatment any longer which is how it always ends, I can't outlast him. I finally had to say something really smart alecky, "so, we just about were in Memphis, huh"? He said, "yeah, I thought I'd take you to see Elvis. I had no idea the highway was so far. Oh well, at least I gave the Corvette a good run even if it did cost $15 in gas". "More like $25", I said---I know how to get to him!

We ended up having a nice lunch and conversation. It's amazing how food can make me perk up and brighten the lousiest mood. On the way home I asked him what other restrictions were there for taking the car out. I already knew the rule about parking 3 miles from your destination so that no other car can possibly "ding" you. He just smiled as we pulled in the driveway at 1:30!

I must admit, I love the guy. Luckily, I'm used to him after all these years. Just another day in paradise.

*A side note: I learned years ago that the silent treatment didn't work. We were coming back from a family vacation in central Missouri. I wanted a huge rock from the side of the road for my garden. Butch didn't want to stop. I didn't see what the problem was as the rock was FREE. Anyway, I didn't speak to him for the next 4 hours. When we got home he asked what we wanted to do about dinner. Again I was curt in my reply. He said, all bewildered, "what, are you mad at me"? Duhh. He still didn't get it when a month later, he gave me a 7 carat diamond tennis bracelet for our anniversary (which I lost years later while stumbling around the French Quarter in a drunken stupor---ahhh, that's another story). I started to cry---he thought from happiness---but I was hurt and upset. I told him all I wanted was the rock! Christmas that year, he handed me gift bag that weighed a ton. I immediately started crying. He said, "what"? I sobbed, "it's my rock---you remembered"! He said, "oh you and that damn rock"! It was knobs for my kitchen cabinets. What a romantic.