"We're NOT Cheaters, Just Stupid!"

I started playing in this major bridge tournament on Monday. You have to have a team of four. I think my fellow bridge buddies invite me because they are old ladies and they need me to drive. I used to think it was for my free parking. I also am the team captain which means I fetch stuff and haul everything (2 of the ladies stayed at the hotel, so that meant, I hauled their suitcases and the one's oxygen rolling cart), get them water, sign us up and pay the fees, get pencils and score sheets, record the scores---just basically keep us organized---which, of course, suits me just fine. I like being the boss.

All was going well until the second round of play---you play 12 hands per round. We had played the first 6 boards and now were changing opponents. While we waited for others to finish, the 4 of us were chatting. About that time, the director---very Nazi-ish with the accent to go with it---came over and yelled at us. Apparently, it looked like we were discussing the hands---which you can't do since we all play the same ones. We're not idiots, we know we can't discuss the hands and weren't doing that. The director then said, that we shouldn't even be together until after the round was over. He told us that if anyone contested the scores, we would be disqualified. I later told our opponents that we're not cheaters, just stupid! He was not a nice guy.

We won the first round fair and square. I got home at 11 p.m. I was so wound up that I couldn't sleep. The last time I looked at the clock it was 2 a.m. and I had to get up at 6.

We played round 2 at 9:30 Tuesday morning. It didn't start off well when my partner's cell phone rang---a HUGE no no in bridge. The Nazi came over and yelled at her. Actually I was sort of glad about that because you know how I feel about cell phones. Old ladies don't think rules apply to them.

I would say that the average age of the 500 or so bridge players would be somewhere around 70. The ladies I play with are in their mid-80's except for my partner who is about 77. My friend, Mary Jo, with the oxygen needed help changing out her tank. Luckily, I had all that oxygen tank maintenance experience from helping mom last year. But it was all for naught as I was in the bar when she needed my help! By the time they met up with me, they had already had a drink of their own---vodka, straight, on the rocks. They ended up having another drink in the bar. That's when I found out that their maiden names were Zimmermann!

We played a total of 96 boards on Tuesday, but ultimately lost. I got home again about 11 p.m.---exhausted since I only got 4 hours sleep the night before. I slept like a baby and even took a 2 hour nap this afternoon. That's a lot of bridge---maybe it's the brain power that exhausted me. All in all, we played pretty well. We would have done much better if we could have played in our own division. But, Joan, my partner (for the last 20 years) has over 1000 points (compared to my 98) which threw all of us into a higher bracket. Joan plays just about every day of the week. That's why she has so many points. You earn points in fractions, so it really takes a long time for them to add up.

At the tournament, I saw our director from Hillwood. I told him about our stupidity the first night. He laughed and said that we were seasoned enough bridge players that we should have figured that out. He's a nice guy and knows that we're not cheaters. He may be German (his last name is Birnbaum), but he's no Nazi!!

Up next---Disney report!