My Sister the Big Fat Baby

I figure if Jeanne can "trash" me on her blog, then turn-about is fair play!! 

Jeanne's a big fat baby. Well, not that kind of fat, but the kind of fat you slung at your siblings growing up because you weren't allowed to use words any stronger, except maybe stupid, retarded, brat, fruit, jerk---but I digress.

I just want to call your attention to our hospital experience after the M.O.M. episode. Now that's what I call an appropriate acronym---Milk Of Magnesia and MOM. I'd say that darting from the room every 5 minutes and "ditching" your big sister when the "sh*t" hit the proverbial fan is far worse than shopping at a boycotted nursery. Wouldn't you?

Oh, yeah, she's a big fat stupid too. She almost killed our mother by dispensing the wrong medicines---that "I" had clearly measured and marked!! Jennifer also earns this title as she did the same thing. Wait a minute---they were together when Jennifer messed up the meds. Maybe they had a plan, got caught, so Jeanne tried to complete it on her own! 

Okay Jeanne, I take it all back. You're visiting me in July and I don't want to worry about any mishaps that may cause me harm in my own pool!!!

Home Sweet Home

Well, I made it home all in one piece. And now, with just a couple days behind me, it seems like my St. Louis experience was a long time ago. It does feel good to be home. Of course, I was irritated right off the bat. I pulled into the driveway to discover that Butch had "taken" my parking spot. I know that doesn't seem like it should be a big deal, but it was raining and due to Butch's new car, we definitely have a few parking issues. Appropriate don't ya' think? To top it off, when he programmed his new car for the garage door opener, the other 5 (yep, we now have 6 cars) quit working.  So, I had to run through the rain to open the garage door and then unload in the rain. I was already preparing my rant for when he got home, when, to my surprise, I discovered a bouquet of flowers with a really sweet note welcoming me home. That settled my dander. Instead of yelling at him when he got home, I greeted him with, "it's a darn good thing you got me flowers because I was going to yell at you!"

We were having a nice conversation and catching up on the news, when Jordan called (it's 6:30 by now). No, "hi Grammy, glad you're home." She starts with, "grammy, can you take me and my friend (sorry about the bad English, but that's how they talk) to the mall?" Their chauffeur had returned. I said "no." She said, "okay, can I talk to grandpa?" Again, I said "no" as he had just driven to Atlanta and back the same day. I knew that he would not be able to say no by himself, so I saved him. He's always been a soft touch for his "girls"--all of them.

A few minutes later, I got a text from Morgan. "Can you take me to Taylor's tomorrow at 11?" My quick (I got a lot of practice in mom's room at the hospital) response, "no can do." Then a little text conversation transpired where we agreed that I would pick her up at 8:45 and drop her at her friends. 

Oh yeah, I'm home....but honestly, I like the fact that the girls feel like they can call us and ask us to drive them around. It would never have occurred to me to call my grandparents---and they lived closer to us than Steph does to me. 

Besides that, I can only stand them for 15 minutes at a time anyway.

Nurse Ratchett---who me?

I've been accused of many things in my life, but "Nurse Ratchett" has never been one of them. 

After my mom's recent open-heart surgery, I guess I deserve it. It has been a busy couple of weeks for the Zimmermann's (except Joyce, who couldn't come in---and maybe "the boys" who aren't much help). I happen to be at home for a couple of days to attend to some "Eads" family obligations. I'm returning to St. Louis tomorrow---Memorial Day to resume my new nursing duties. Thank God it's not my lifetime calling. And thank God for sisters that can provide relief. How do you spell relief? S-I-S-T-E-R-S----sounds like a scrapbook page to me! Too bad I haven't taken any pictures. I do try to be compassionate with my picture taking. I don't want anyone taking "ugly" pictures of me either.

Here are a few of my recent observations---come on, sometimes all you can do is laugh!!

1. Withdrawal of the breathing tube and associated tape after mom's surgery resulted in a free mustache removal.

2. I have a deep yearning to learn new things, but this isn’t really what I had in mind. Let’s just say, I’m learning more about bodily functions than I ever cared to know.

3. I’ve decided that a man created Ted hose since they are torture devices. I’m surprised he had the guts to put his name on them.

4. An incentive spirometer by any other name is still a breathing hell.

5. Milk of Magnesia REALLY works!! About 16 times! Thanks Janice and Jennifer for THAT!!

6. Now I know why they call them portable toilets---you get to tote the bucket.

7. Jeanne can’t handle unusual smells and fakes phone calls to avoid them.

8. Mom wants the words “breathe deep” removed from our vocabulary.

9. After having trouble breathing, mom blew a marble sized “thing” out of her nose. It sort of freaked me out as nothing was mentioned about this in the 5,000 pages I GOT to read. Turns out to be normal when you are on oxygen.

10. And this has nothing to do with the surgery, but if you live alone, why do you need air freshener in your private bathroom?

I'm just glad that mom is getting better and better each day. I will definitely be earning the Nurse Ratchett title this week as I make her go outside and move around a WHOLE lot more! I'll keep you posted on how that works out!

 

 

Mindy's in LOVE!!

Let me preface that by saying---Mindy's in love---today!! It takes so little to make Mindy happy.

Here's the story.

When I was in New Orleans a couple weeks ago, she got mad at Mike because he was too tired to meet us at 10:30 at night---he lives 45 minutes from the French Quarter. There may have been more to it, but I'm a good mom and don't "pry". Anyway, she got mad and told him they needed a break. As a result, she was pretty sad. A few days later, they talked and the issue was resolved. 

She had to be at work at 6 this morning and called me at 6:30 and interrupted me on the treadmill. Actually, that was a good thing as I continued my workout while on the phone---breathless. She started the conversation by saying that she and Mike were definitely in love and their relationship had gone to the next level because (remember, here, that Mindy speaks in outline form) A. he added her to his Blockbuster account, B. he picked her up and took her on a picnic---he prepared all the food and purchased the appropriate wine (nothing new---he's a chef and cooks for her all the time), C. took her to play "glow in the dark frisbee" and, D. he's invited her to meet his parents! She is so excited. She's not nervous at all because as she's said a zillion times---"mom, who doesn't like ME".

I'm happy for her and a bit sad for us. Mike's a Louisiana boy, so it doesn't look like Mindy will be back in Nashville anytime soon.

On a side note, she's worked 72 hours last week during Jazz Fest. She said that Josh Brolin and Diane Lane came in 3 times!

The girls and I are heading off to Kalamazoo on Thursday for the weekend. Butch will meet us there on Friday for Victoria's First Communion on Saturday. I'll be home Sunday while Butch flies on to New York. I'll be home Monday to get my life organized prior to leaving for St. Louis on Tuesday. I'll be blogging from there as I'm sure I will have exciting, family things to report!

A Great Weekend!

Turns out we had a pretty busy weekend, but what fun it turned out to be. Butch played golf on Saturday while I spent most of the day reading. The book, "Those Who Save Us" (sorry, can't get it underlined) kept me busy most of the day---finished it this afternoon. Saturday night, we had a black tie thing to go to for the Tennessee Performing Arts Center---Butch is the chairman of the board. We're pretty tired of these things, but it was all right. Darryl Hall was the entertainment---he's not so good without John Oates.  I guess he's tired of playing and singing the "old" songs in the traditional way, so he added about a 5 minute instrumental---sort of a blue-sy, jazzy thing---at the beginning and end of each song. I didn't really like it.

Sunday, we went geo-caching with Jack and Connie and then to lunch. We found 6 caches in about an hour and half. It was really their first time, so that was fun for all of us. Later in the day, we went to Best Buy to get a new television. Butch didn't make the deal he wanted as they would only come $50. off the sale price. I swear, he says you can always ask (and get) a better deal. I was impressed with the $50, but he said it wasn't enough, so we left. Sure enough, he later found the same tv online for $200 cheaper, plus no tax or shipping which saves nearly another $200. After Best Buy, we went to Sam's to get the non-perishables for the engagement party we're giving for a friend in May. Just a really nice day and we felt like we accomplished a lot.

And then today---he brought me flowers! That was a really nice surprise---it's been awhile!

Now for some food for thought (and the reason why I scrapbook)---think about this:

"If you don't write down your stories, they never really happened." I don't know who said it, but it's pretty profound, don't you think?

Family Observations

6 of the “original 7”  were in New Orleans together this week. Even though Matt was missing, Jim took his place without missing a beat---he even got on his own wife’s nerves!

Janice likes bowling shirts---and thank goodness she does! I was able to spot her a block away on Bourbon Street.

LOUD for our family is an understatement.

The “f” word is a part of every sentence and goes up exponentially with the alcohol consumption---ditto for the decibel level.

Jeanne looks good in turquoise even if the rest of the family said she looked like a matador.

Alcohol consumption was at an all time high.

Only 1 of 7 of us suffers hangovers---gee, I wonder who that would be---but I’ve learned my lesson and really “throttled back”! I had 3 glasses of wine, 1/3 of a hand grenade and a hurricane in a 5 hour period---I was happy, but didn’t get sick---compared to the last time I had a hand grenade and a hurricane in the same hour. Got sick, ruined my dinner, lost a bracelet AND was hung over. Never again.

All 5 of us girls have crappy hair. The boys are okay---maybe we should wear ours that short---oh wait, Janice does.

Some of them can’t dance OR ride Segways! Notice I said “them”---had I said “us”, that might have included me!

This was drilled into me from a young age: “Barbara, you are the oldest. You have to set a good example for your younger brothers and sisters.” What a burden to put on a little kid. Well ya’ know what, mom and dad, it didn’t work---and I’m still trying to set that example!

Two of my sisters had to do a lot of babysitting this week.

A couple siblings have a permanent scowl on their faces and one even growls.

I’m sad whenever I have to leave Mindy. I just want her to come home---not exactly home, but Nashville.

Some of us think food is the necessity and others think alcohol is.

We’re all know-it-alls.

Everyone wants to be the boss, but that’s my job---assigned by the folks.

And my favorite observation of all: There weren’t any fights! Maybe some of us have grown up after all!

Most Recent Project

I saw this idea in a magazine. And, since I'm the only one that comes up with ideas for my daytime group, we made it. I'm getting ready to make a couple more for two of my favorite people. If you don't get one, that doesn't mean you aren't a favorite---just means you don't have a scrapbook room to hang it in. 

It's funny, my room is so incredibly "junky", but when Steph was over the other night, she said she wanted her room to look like this too! If you've ever seen pictures of Mary Engelbreit's studio, it's pretty junky too.