Communication Problems

It’s no secret that I have a communication problem with my housekeeper. We mostly communicate by charades. When I talk to her, I have a terrible habit of saying everything twice. The second time, I say it louder with bigger hand gestures. If Margarita still doesn’t get it, I’ll say it a third time (still loud) and point to things. Occasionally, I try to resurrect my Spanish from high school 37 years ago. That hardly ever works because I’m sure I’m saying all the wrong words---not even sure I ever knew the right words back then. Lunch with her is downright painful---I mean, you can only talk about how hot it is for so long. Well anyway, on Monday, I was out running errands when I realized that I had left the chicken on the counter for dinner. I knew that I could not leave it all day as I’d taken it out at 6 a.m. My options were: 1. Turn around and go back home (which would have taken a lot of time as I was already 30 minutes from home and would need to return to the exact same area). Or, 2. Try to call Margarita and get her to put the chicken in the refrigerator.

I opted for #2 (which should tell you something right there). Knowing Margarita wouldn’t answer our home phone, I dialed her cell. She picked up in Spanish, “Hola”. Okay, I understood that, so far so good. I say, “Margarita, can you put the chicken in the refrigerator?”, very slowly, enunciating each syllable. Her response, “huh” (have you ever heard “huh” in a Spanish accent?). I tried again, louder with added hand gestures (something akin to the funky chicken)---what---did I think she could see me? The third time, I threw in the word “pollo”---I have no idea where that came from or if it even means chicken. I was about ready to throw “Big Bird” into the mix when she said “okay”. Not really sure if I understood her that she understood me, I repeated “can you put the pollo in the refrigerator? It’s on the counter.” By now, fellow motorists were honking at me to get a move on. Hey come on, I was in the middle of a chicken emergency. I can’t possibly drive, talk on my cell phone and pull Spanish words out of a hat all at the same time! Give me a break! Anyway, I said “gracias” (at least one word I’m sure of) and hung up.

When I got home, I held my breath as I walked in, hoping that she had gotten the message. She did!! Maybe there’s hope for us yet! Now if I can only figure out how to tell her not to spray the dust cloth over the hardwood floors. I’m already a “faller downer”, I don’t need any extra help!