Tuesday Thoughts About...

FLYING

1. I'm the type who likes to take the first flight in the morning. I don't care if I have to get up at 3:30 or 4:00 a.m. to get ready. That first flight is less likely to be delayed. Plus, I can always sleep on the plane. The best experience I ever had was on my way to St. Louis. Granted, it's only a 45 minute flight, but still, I fell asleep before we even took off. I didn't wake until the bump of the landing! I was like, "Are you kidding me! We're here already and I never woke up for take-off!" Now that's the way to go. It hasn't happened since, but it might. In my book, taking the very first flight is the best. Of course, if there's a weather situation, your screwed anyway.

2. I like to get to the airport with plenty of time to spare. I figure, why stress yourself out by rushing around---worrying about the traffic and waiting in long security lines. I can wait around just as easily at the airport as I can at home. Plus, if I get there in plenty of time, I can stand in the 30 minute Starbucks line!

3. TSA Pre-check is worth every penny! No long waits in security. You don't have to strip down or take your shoes off. There's nothing I hate worse than walking barefoot---or worse---in my socks on that nasty floor. And then you put your dirty, germy feet BACK in your shoes! But even with pre-check you can be held up. Recently, I was sent through the "big" machine in security. They detected metal somewhere, but it wasn't where I actually have metal! I have titanium plates and screws in both big toes and ankle. No, those don't set the machine off---it's something behind my knee. They wand me and send me on my way. (Hmmm, I wonder if I've been "chipped!") As I was collecting my "things," I needed to step aside so security could check my computer bag. I thought it was the loaf of banana bread I was taking to Sandy's. No, apparently, the wand set the alarm off for drugs. Several people came as they thoroughly inspected my bag--not once, but twice. They never even opened the foil with the banana bread. Then they started on me. They asked if I wanted to do it in private. I said, "no, I'm fine here." Well, I had no idea what that sort of "pat down" entailed. "She" explained everything she was going to do. She felt around and between my breasts (actually, that wasn't so bad!) Then she ran her hands around the inside of my waist band. That seemed a little weird. Anyway, of course they didn't find anything and sent me on my way. I wasn't upset. They are just doing their job. Hence another reason to arrive plenty early. You never know what might delay you.

4. I like to sit in the back. In my opinion, if you sit in the back, there's less of a chance that someone will take the middle seat. Everyone is too intent on sitting up front so they can get off fast (Butch included). What's the rush? I take my time getting off the plane, make a stop at the bathroom and---if I'm lucky---the bags will just be arriving when I reach baggage. That doesn't happen often. I usually still have to wait. I don't see any reason to sit in the front so I can rush down there.

5. Another way I try to ensure that no one will take the middle seat is that I sprawl out, hog the arm rest and cough whenever it looks like someone is eyeing it. Really, this works. I know it sounds all selfish---and I don't consider myself a particularly selfish person---but I only do this when the flight attendants announce that the flight is not full. If it is, I stick to my little area!

6. I don't "save" seats. I'm a rule follower. You're not supposed to do it. People pay extra for early bird seating so they can sit wherever they want. Ahem, I'm an "A-Lister" so I get to sit wherever I want. I would be embarrassed to say "this seat is saved" when I know you are not supposed to. Just one more case for sitting in the rear of the plane. Most likely, friends or family can join you because everyone else is focused on cramming in the front.

7. I prefer the window seat. Butch is just the opposite. He prefers the aisle. In fact, if someone comes along and wants the middle, we let them have it. We won't "die" if we aren't sitting right next to each other for a couple hours! Our girls think that's weird. I like the window because I can hunker down, mind my own business and do whatever I want. If you are in the middle or on the aisle, invariably you will have to get up so someone can use the bathroom. Plus on the aisle, you have everyone bumping you all the time. I'm fine in my own little space.

8. I don't understand why people think they need to bring everything they own on the plane. So you might have to wait 15 minutes at baggage. Is it really necessary to lug that big suitcase through the airport---and then have to heft it up in to the overhead smashing everything up there? I especially resent women who expect men to help them. Butch always helps some poor, weak female with an "over-the-limit" bag. Hey everyone wants to be treated equally--heft your own darn bag. I do mine! Well, except if Butch is with me.

9.  I hate those peanuts. You get exactly 8. Sometimes on Southwest (my preferred airline), you get a full pack of cookies---or Wheat Thins---or Sun Chips. They can keep the stupid peanuts.

10. I can't say I particularly love to fly---I'm not afraid or anything. I don't really like the hassle of it all. But I have to say, I'd much rather fly than waste hours in the car. I fly most of the places that I used to have to drive---St. Louis, Charlotte, and the beach. I can usually find rates around $200. I'm going to St. Louis next week for $150! That's darn near what the gas would cost. Not to mention the wear and tear on my car. Charlotte is around $175. The beach has gone up some. Instead of around $200, it's now around $240. I guess it all evens out. I'd much rather save the time. Of course, that only works if it's a non-stop flight. If not, you'll spend the same amount of time getting to your destination.

What are your thoughts on flying?