Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Our Kids are Going to Hate Us!

I've been saying this for a long time. They don't want our stuff and we're leaving them a crap load to deal with. They are going to hate us!

After our mom died, we decided on a Saturday when we would all get together to clean out her 2 bedroom apartment. Mom was not all that sentimental, so she didn't really have a lot of stuff---except she did! It took about 12 of us 9 hours to haul it all away. We went about it in a very organized way. First off, I had already dealt with all of the clothing and food. I dispersed her jewelry the day of her wake. I had already sent mom's files home with Butch after the funeral---I was the executor of her estate. So we were just dealing with furniture and all the other stuff that makes up a life. 

We started going through and asking "who wants this?" If more than one person wanted something, we put names in a hat. It all went smoothly. Matt took much of the stuff no one wanted---home with him and put it in his garage. It was hard---we felt like we were throwing away her life.  He just couldn't dump it all at Good Will. 

Probably mom's most single valuable possession was her sterling silverware. At one point she said it was worth $18,000. No one really wanted it---the polishing and all. My siblings insisted that I take it since I did do a lot of entertaining. I got my granddaughters to help me polish it up. We used it that year for Thanksgiving in honor of mom. I don't think I've used it since. It's now just one more thing for me to figure how to deal with.

Young people don't want silver---too much trouble. They don't register for stuff like that anymore before they get married. Most don't want china either. I took mom's "desert rose" dishes.
I didn't really want them, but no one else did either. I thought Mindy might want them since she didn't have any dishes except her cheapies from college. She didn't want them. She's not a flower person. Even sentimentality could not over-ride that. I'm saving them for my oldest granddaughter, Jordan. First of all, she loves pink. Secondly, I "think" (I really will need to find out) that she will be happy to have something from her great-grandmother. I could be wrong.

Anyway, all of this to say---you better clean out your own crap, because we are leaving our kids with a major burden. Considering our families are much smaller than mine was, it's going to take forever. A friend of mine told me that it took her and her 5 siblings a full year of getting together EVERY Saturday to clean out their childhood home after their parents were gone. Another friend said they moved everything in to storage and still had to deal with it later. 

When the time comes, I told my girls to go through the house and take whatever they want. Then, just hire one of those companies to come in and do an auction, then haul the rest away.

I'm determined to get through my house and get rid of a lot of "stuff." As I see it, the only other option is to be sure to tell some of the stories behind key items that you love. Hopefully, that alone might stir a little sentimentality! Otherwise, it's all junk to them.

Here'a the problem I'm running in to now with trying to clean out. I have things of value---at least from a monetary standpoint. When my girls had no interest in my collection of Lenox vases---costing $40-$100 each when I bought them years ago, I decided to sell them on Ebay. As it turns out NO ONE wants this stuff! Each vase sold for less than the shipping. It wasn't worth the hassle to mess with. I just hope my granddaughters will want my Waterford crystal! Luckily, I have 4 granddaughters. Perhaps if I tell them the story of my Waterford chandelier, they will want it. It's all worth far too much to just put in Good Will.

One thing I know for sure: they are going to hate us, I tell you. Hate us! Heck, I can't say I'll blame them.


  1. It's a difficult one, that's for sure.

  2. Having helped with the job of clearing out my lovely Father-in-law's house last year I know what you mean. I have taken to asking my three children if they want a particular thing. If they don't I either sell it or give it to a charity shop - if it is worth more than sentimental value I do tell the people in the shop so they can have the hassle of selling it at auction or ebay.
    It might have a sentimental value for us but when you get down to the nitty gritty it's all just stuff and is only as valuable as the present market will stand

  3. I've had to deal with several estates, however none were all that extensive and it went quickly. It will fall to me to liquidate my parent's estate (hopefully many many years from now). It would be easier to have them deal with the stuff, but I'd much rather they continue to enjoy the things that are sentimental to them and give away things if there's an occasion that will bring them pleasure.


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