Blogging My Heart!

I decided to take the challenge on this blog:
http://www.stephaniehowell.com/my_weblog/2011/09/blog-your-heart-a-challenge.html

I pretty much share everything in my life here, but not always my worries or fears. And it wouldn't be real if I said I didn't have any. There's a part of me that believes that if I worry about something, it will actually come true. As a result, I try to push those thoughts away as fast as they come. It's not always easy. I consider myself an optimist, but that doesn't mean that negative thoughts don't creep in.

1. I worry incessantly about my grandkids. Will they make the right choices? Have we made the right decision in letting Jordan change schools? So many things to think about---far more than with my own kids. I really have to make an effort to NOT think about them driving. Scary stuff!!! I worry about auto accidents---not totally from an injury standpoint, but from an insurance standpoint. We've had a few too many fender benders in the family recently.

2. It's hard to think that I am nearing 60 (Butch is already there). We both have a problem accepting limitations. We continue on with our lives as if we were still 20 something. My feet are telling me that I am not. Butch has taken up running and is starting to have some problems with his knees. He thinks it's minor---and I agree that it probably is. But, as I've said to him just yesterday, "Why would you do something you hate and jeopardize being able to do something (golf) that you love?" Makes sense to me. We head off to London on Saturday. I'm afraid my feet aren't up to it. We'll see...

3. I'm pretty sick of the workmen being around here. It's been pretty much solid since last March. Between painting and the front porch and upper porch renovations, it's about pushed me over the edge. The last thing is our new front doors. Another two weeks should do it. I hope that means when I get back from England, all will be done. Not getting my hopes up.

4. I'm glad to be off prednisone since August 1st. I hope it's forever this time and not just temporary as it has been the last 3 times in 12 years. It's not good for the body in any way. I do hope to get this weight off. That will go a long way to making me feel better and certainly help with some of my feet issues.

5. I've always had crappy hair. There's nothing I can do to change that. I've been meaning to do something different with it "when I lose this weight" which has been a hope for years now. I'm afraid if I take that step too prematurely, I'll look shorter and fatter. Yes, I'm still vain---even under all this fat.

6. I'm praying for some family members going through a particularly rough time. They are never far from my thoughts. I even suffered some depression on their behalf, but have been able to get on with it. A counselor once told me that I'm empathetic to a fault. That's just my nature. I'm a fixer. I don't like not being able to do something to help. That sucks!

7. Butch and I have discussed our trip and think we have a pretty good plan. We are very different in how we like to travel. He likes to hit it hard from 7 a.m. to 8 or 9 p.m. Not me. I like some down time in the afternoon, or if we've hit it hard all day, I like to be back in the early evening. He doesn't like to shop---I like to shop a little---not a lot, but some. He doesn't like to eat. We're both going to compromise on that. He doesn't like to take taxis---he's going to compromise on that. He doesn't want to go to "high" tea with me. I'll take my book and be perfectly happy. That's why we travel so well with Walter and Chris. The guys and girls can go separate ways now and then.

8. I wish there was something I could say that would make Butch stop worrying about money. Even our financial advisors have told him we're really good. It's just like my own unrealistic worries. Just because someone tells you not to worry, you don't really have control over that. I told him to just earn enough money to cover our trips each year. Neither of us thought we'd be traveling so much. Maybe he'll feel better about it if we don't have to "take out" of our retirement for that.

Okay, I guess that's everything in my heart today.