An Embarrassing Experience

Last Monday, I had an appointment with a urologist. I've been having a lot of problems with my hives and have been on the highest dose of prednisone that I've ever taken over the course of the last 10 1/2 yrs. Prednisone over a long period of time is not a good thing for the body. I go every 3 months to have some bloodwork done---just to keep an eye on things. Since last September, I've had a bladder/urinary track infection---whether I've had 4 separate or just never gotten rid of the first one was debatable. Since prednisone can mask other symptoms, my doctor was concerned enough to send me to a urologist. First of all, let me say again, I do not know anything "medical". I thought urologists were just for men. Nor do I know what they do. Anyway, to continue with the story.

Connie and I had planned to have pedicures on Monday afternoon. Since she was off school due to the flood, she suggested that we go in the morning and then have lunch. We did---toes looked good. We went to lunch where I had shrimp and grits. As I was on my way to the doctor's, my lunch was starting to "work" on me---if you know what I mean. By the time I got to the doctor's, I had some paperwork to fill out. After that was done, I asked where the bathroom was located. The receptionist directed me and told me to be sure to put my name on the bottle. Didn't know I was going to have another urine test. Now I'm worried about whether I was going to be able to make "that" happen first. I did. I continued on with my "business" and even used one of the wipes to clean up.

Next step, the nurse calls me back and does a preliminary exam of questions. The doctor comes in----soooo cute----and young. He has a discussion with me and tells me what he's going to do---ultra sound of the bladder, catheterize me, check the placement of the bladder and surrounding muscles. Now I'm getting nervous, feeling unprepared for such a "physical" exam. The doctor left so that I could get ready (strip) for the exam. The nurse comes back in. I said to her, "I'm feeling a little less than "fresh" in my nether regions---do you have anything I can use to clean up?" Honest to God, those were my exact words. I guess she didn't understand what I was asking because the nurse completely ignored me. Now I'm laying on the table in the "altogether" as the nurse administers the ultra sound. Next, in comes cute doctor. I finally had to console myself the best way I could. "For crying out loud, Barb, you're fat and old---get over it." Plus the fact that the doctor swabbed that smelly, oragne-ish stuff everywhere---even places I didn't know I had. Then I was able to relax a little for the rest of the exam.

The report was good news and bad news---as most of these types of things are. The good news, the problem has nothing to do with the prednisone. In fact, I do not, nor did I ever have an infection. Instead---now here's the bad news part---due to the aging process (figures)---there was a long explanation of which I heard---urethra---shrinking---vaginal cells---contaminated---false positive. As if I needed another reminder that I'm "aging".

Despite the embarrassing experience, I was happy with the news---one less thing to worry about! Plus, now I know never to have lunch before a urology appointment! Learn from me!