I Need Some Help!!

And that's a HUGE admission. I'm not the type of person to ask for help. I usually know my own mind and am very decisive. And, no, I'm not talking about decorating---I'm good with that.

This time, I'm talking about my health situation---more directly, my papa toe!! I have a rather large bone spur that prevents my toe from moving and functioning properly. It hurts---not constantly, but if I do a lot of walking, standing for long periods of time or stay on the treadmill too long---I feel like an old, crippled woman. I saw a podiatrist and was ready to go with a joint replacement---until a friend of mine freaked out! She said I needed to see an orthopedic surgeon. She arranged it. I went. He said I need a "fusion" as it was a permanent fix rather than a joint replacement which would not last more than 8-10 years and could also cause pain. Of course, the choice was a "no brainer." I'm all about permanent---I'm not a "let's just put a band aid on it." I'm a firm believer of fixing something right the first time.

This decision was made in September. When the nurse called to schedule the surgery, I wanted the first part of March. She was surprised and said her calendar didn't go out that far. Clearly she doesn't know me! I'm a planner of the highest degree!! She called me back about 6 weeks later to  book it. I'm all set for March 6th. Smack in the middle of a couple of trips---Costa Rica in February and a British Isles cruise in August. There's really no better time.

Now I'm starting to have second thoughts. There is a pretty long recuperation period. For the first month, I'll be on crutches. I've never been on crutches. I'm worried about that. I don't know how I'll even get up the stairs in to my house. What about getting up at night to use the bathroom? This seems like it's going to be so hard. For the second month, I'll be in a walking boot. That seems okay, but again, getting up at night---putting on the boot to use the bathroom. Knowing me, I won't be able to "hold it" long enough to get the boot on. I'm not exactly able to hop around on one foot either.

The third month I'll be in a tennis shoe.

I guess if I admit it, I'm scared. Not about the surgery, but about how I will possibly get around. Maybe it will be easier than I think.

This is where you come in. Do you think I should go ahead and do it? This is not a problem that will go away or get better by itself. It will only get worse. And, I need to do the other foot too---it's not as bad as my right foot. But eventually, it will be.

Just by writing this all out and thinking about it, I think I've answered my own question. I need to go ahead and just do it. I guess it's the fear of the unknown. I need to come up with a plan. I probably should cut back on the fluids. Yeah, that's what I'll do. That's what I'm most concerned about anyway.

Okay, I guess I don't really need any help.