Me on Monday

Well, I am a coward!

Let me explain. When I got home from England two weeks ago, I weighed to assess the damage of enjoying--fully--two weeks in England. I had gained 2.4 lbs. Even though I had walked 73 miles over that time, it wasn't enough to counter-act all of the free cookies at the hotel, unlimited alcoholic beverages, desserts at every turn, fish & chips, tea with scones slathered with clotted cream and jam--I think you get the idea. I enjoyed myself--and that's a bit of an understatement! I ENJOYED myself with a complete disregard for what I was eating and drinking. When I got home, I faced the music. Okay, the gain was fine. It was even less than I'd feared. 

I intended to hop right back on the "healthy, low fat/calorie" bandwagon. That didn't happen. As we like to say in the weight-loss community, I was "off-the-rails!" It was too hard to get back on track. There were too many things--social events and eating out that made it nearly impossible. There were 9 eating out events. Included in that was a Chinese delivery and homemade scones that my friend Diane made with lots of clotted cream and jam. Dang, I love those things!! Also, more drinking.

On a regular basis, I might have cocktails about twice a month. It's easy for me to pass up alcohol and those wasted calories. Except---Diane and Gren introduced us to grapefruit gin when we were in Nottingham. You might recall that Gren introduced me to Sipsmith's lemon gin the last time we were in England. Anyway, I had no room to bring the grapefruit gin home. I told Butch to look for it when he was at the liquor store. I didn't really think he'd find it. Well, he did! I was surprised at that as we have never been able to get the lemon gin. He also got Fever Tree grapefruit tonic to have with it. I just had to try it. Of course I did! Many times!

You know, as I'm thinking about all of this, I realize that the food and beverages are just as much a part of the experience as the sightseeing. When I have this drink or a scone, it brings back all of those warm feelings of how fabulous the trip was.

Okay, back to me being a coward, because surely I am! 

So, the next week when I was supposed to weigh, I just couldn't do it. In my head I said to my cowardly self, "I'll just get back on track and weigh next week!" Well, that didn't happen either. I was still completely and utterly out of control. So bad that when out to lunch with Connie, we had dessert! I never have dessert in a restaurant--or at least it's rare. She also never has dessert. This time, it was her idea. I almost resisted, but succumbed to the temptation of Nutella bread pudding. Everyone knows bread pudding is my all-time favorite dessert, but I am very picky about it! It needs to be warm, soft and custardy.

We got it. It wasn't good---hard, dry, and not hot. Let's put it this way, the ice cream didn't melt one bit. You would think that we would have pushed it away. Instead, when the waitress returned, I told her it wasn't good--as we still shoveled it in. Connie kept saying, "But, we're eating it!" She's always so nice. And, yes, we were still eating it. I told the waitress about how I'm a connoisseur of bread pudding and this just wasn't good. We were eating it because, well, it was sweet. In the end, we did everything but lick the plate! Not a bite left. It was terrible! How on earth could I not push it away? I do not know how the "sweet" devil can have so much control over me.

The waitress came back to collect payment and said that she had taken off the bread pudding. Connie--right away---was, "Oh no, we ate it anyway!" I'm like, "Well thank you. Yes, we ate it, because it was still something sweet!" Connie did everything--practically begging to have it added back to the bill! That's Connie--ridiculously nice! I consider myself a nice person too, but she's on a different level than anyone I know. I'd venture to say, she can "outnice" an angel!

Then, to add insult to injury, the Manager comes by to apologize and talk to us. Now I even felt bad about eating it and not paying! I did tell him that we'd give it a try another time. Great, now besides being a coward, I'm a liar! That was a big fat lie--given the fact that we never order dessert! And we hardly ever go to this restaurant (Del Frisco's Grill).

Okay, so I have made this story way too long. Suffice it to say that when the next time to weigh rolled around, I just couldn't do it. Now I'm playing those head games--I'll get right back to it on Monday! 

Now here's where the story turns me from a coward to a somewhat brave person. 

Mindy had a particularly stressful day on Thursday. She called Friday morning and was all excited and upbeat. She told us how she basically had conquered the day! She had her 900th Barry's Boot Camp class, got an excellent performance review with a nice raise, and navigated a work dinner where she didn't really know anyone all that well AND stayed on her healthy eating plan. She was feeling really good about herself. I had no doubt that she'd do great. (The girls always say that's the mom in me talking, but it's the truth). 

Now back to me. Adding to all the bad food choices, I had not even walked a single time since I got back from England. Somehow Mindy's "wins" made me feel like an even bigger loser! I said to myself, "That's it! I'm facing the music right now!" And I did even though I'd already had breakfast and my tea. I usually weigh first thing right out of bed on Monday. Nope, I did it right then.

I don't know why I was such a coward. Even being "off-the-rails" for two more weeks. I weighed exactly the same as when I got home two weeks ago! 

Now I'm happy. I feel like I can get back to what I need to do. Of course, it doesn't help that I have an extremely tough week food-wise. I'll be able to handle the alcohol part without a problem.

And then the next week, I go scrapbooking for 4 days...it never ends.

Be strong Barb!!

PS By getting back on track Friday, I'm down 1.7 today. Now I'm no math genius, but I think that means I only have .7 lbs. to ago to be back where I was before England. And then, I'm less than 10 lbs. to my goal!!