Friday, August 5, 2016

Forgotten Manners

I read an article this morning about forgotten manners. I'm thinking that young people today are just not taught some of the common courtesies. Here are a few from the list and my thoughts.

1. Don't clean your plate.
First off, I never knew this was a rule. I grew up where you HAD to clean your plate--even if that meant sitting alone at the dinner table by yourself for an hour--only to have said plate re-appear at breakfast. I wish I hadn't been raised this way. As a result, it's just a habit to eat everything on the plate. I'm trying to be more cognizant of that as why bother wasting the calories--especially if you are not enjoying it. It has always bothered Butch that people nearly lick their plate clean.

2. Don't talk with food in your mouth.
I can't say that I really see this as a problem, Most of the people I know don't talk with their mouth full. Sometimes, just at the moment you take a bite, someone asks a question and there you are.

3. Eat slowly and deliberately.
I'm a slow eater--I think mostly because I am talking. But I think it is a good idea to enjoy what your are tasting rather than wolf it down. I know a few kids who chow down, but not many adults. Maybe it's something you "out-grow."

4. Send thank you cards.
This is a "BIGGIE!" I really hate that handwritten notes are falling by the wayside. I get that it takes time and effort. Thank you notes can be a pain. But there's nothing like a handwritten note to make the "gift giver" feel appreciated. Side note: to my family and friends who have visited, dropped food, or flowers--during this recent hiccup in my life--my email "thank yous" and mentions on my blog will have to suffice. I can't get upstairs to get notes or stamps. Yeah, that's what I'm going with. I'm pretty sure the post office will be defunk within 10 years anyway.

5. Offer your seat.
This is actually a BIG pet peeve of mine. I'm not talking just adults---but about the adults that have not taught their children the common courtesy of giving up their seat. I see this across the board (even my own grandkids are sometimes guilty of this). Kids can easily sit on the floor. When I was growing up, it was unthinkable for kids to take a spot on the couch when adults were present. I'm not saying kids don't have rights, I'm just saying kids are more flexible and need to be taught that. And whatever happened to kids sitting on their parents laps? Disney is the worst for that. You are exhausted, and sometimes wet when you get on the resort shuttles. All the seats are taken by little kids who could easily climb on a lap and make a little more room. Most men will still get up and vacate their seat for women, but I think that may be gone by the next generation.

6. Hold the door.
It's been my experience that most people still hold the door for the person behind them.

7. Use "may I"
Well, I guess they are referring to the fact that most people say "can I" when the proper usage is "may I." Not a big deal to me.

OMGosh! This might be the rudest thing of all. Luckily for me, most of my family and friends respond in a timely manner. But I know for a fact that the younger generations are terrible about RSVP-ing. I  DO NOT understand what is the big deal about this. It's pretty simple. When you receive an invitation, you have two decisions to make. #1. Do you want to accept? (If not, just respond you are unavailable. It's not a lie if you'd rather stay home with a book---you're not available. #2. Can you accept? Pretty simple: LOOK AT YOUR CALENDAR! There really is NO excuse to not respond quickly. Yes, I get that sometimes things can be a little more complicated, but it doesn't take a second to let the "inviter" know that you are working out a problem and will get back to them. It makes it pretty darn hard to plan when you don't know until the day of whether people are coming. It's just plain RUDE!!

9. Make eye contact.
I've definitely noticed lack of eye contact during conversations. Sometimes I realize that when I'm talking, I only make eye contact with one or two people in the group. I try to pay attention to that.

10. Say "hello" when you enter a room.
Okay, so I added this one to the list myself. My bridge partner and one of my sisters will make comments like "so and so didn't even say hello." I can see that it might seem rude, but for the most part, when someone comes in--I'm probably the greeter! As said sister says of me, "Barb you're the friendly one." Yes, I am, but more importantly, I want people to feel welcomed and that I'm happy to see them. When my bridge partner or sister say this to me I usually respond--"well, did you say "hi" to them?" Now what I really think is rude is when someone comes in--and--although is not part of the current "group"--just ignores them as if no one is there. To me it's common courtesy to step in and say hello for 15 seconds--then be about your way.

What about you? What types of manners do you think are falling by the wayside that need to be put back in place? I'd love to know.


  1. the not offering your seat and talking with your mouth full are ones that really annoy me

  2. Not saying thank you really annoys me. We were brought up to write thank you notes.

    Not cleaning your plate? I don't understand this one. Are you saying it's good manners to leave something? I have never heard of that and the opposite is definitely the case round here

  3. Good list - but you've forgotten one. That being, don't interrupt others - and that even goes for when you enter a room and want to say "hello". You can always give a wave of the hand or other acknowledgment without interrupting an on-going conversation.

  4. this is a good list, I too had to eat everything on my plate and was usually left at the table alone...good thing we had a dog ;)
    I am with Susanne, I hate hate hate when people interrupt others who are talking.
    Even when my girls were younger and I knew they just had to tell me something, but me or a friend were talking...I would put my finger up to my child (as in wait) and when we were finished talking, I would let them tell me what they needed to.


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