She's Promised to "GET" Me for This One!

Yesterday was my friend, Connie Potter's birthday. I won't say how old she is, but she's OLD---er than me. We've been friends for almost 25 years now---it began with our girls, which was pretty convenient for us. Sandy and Amanda, Stephanie and Malinda became best friends right away when they moved into the neighborhood. Mindy---who was just two---called Connie, "Mrs. Powder."

Connie is the nicest person you would ever want to meet. She goes out of her way for everyone---attending funerals and weddings of people she barely knows (maybe she's a funeral and wedding crasher instead). She shares my self-deprecating sense of humor---nothing we like better than when the joke is on us---and I've gotten many a laugh at her expense. She shares my love of theater, books, and stitching. She hates feet which is ironic because right now she is in a boot due to "plantars displaysia"---she tore the tendon that holds her toes together from jogging---they were all "splayed" out at our last pedicure---really weird looking---I could barely look at them---okay, so that wasn't so smart. She had to have a toe knuckle removed which she says looks terrible. I can't wait to laugh about that. Right now, the huge pin sticking out makes me cringe.

She's probably my clutziest friend---falling down a two-inch step in our hotel room in Chicago which required a trip to the ER. She pretty much wrecks or spills something whenever she comes over (Christmas---dribbling green bean casserole through the house---day I moved she put a plastic salad bowl on my BRAND NEW "hot" stovetop---touches a pillow and it suddenly unravels, and too many more to recall---luckily for her, nothing I have is a priceless antique). It got so bad for awhile that I had to assign someone to "watch" her when she was in the house.

She was my 5:30 a.m. walking partner for many years---much harder for her than me. She goes to work when they have a snow day. Her nose threatens to burst into blood whenever she cries. Seriously, she could give Rudolph a run...

She puts on one outfit and wears it all weekend---even if it has become a bib. We hardly have a meal together that she doesn't come away wearing half of it (I should talk...). My favorite was when we were coming home from a cruise and had a full day of traveling. Right off the bat at the airport, she dribbled Coke all down her white blouse---she looked like a total slob. To this day, she swears the straw had a hole in it. But everyone knows that if a straw has a hole in it, you can't get it to suck!

We've had many adventures over the years:  camping out for New Kids on the Block tickets---she threw me under the bus when the news reporter was interviewing HER. It went something like this---picture this---it's very cold out---I have the hood to my coat tied snuggly under my chin---real nerdy-like---the reporter asks Connie, "do you like NKOTB?" to which Connie responds, "well, my friend here watches them EVERY afternoon!" As soon as the camera stopped rolling, she turned to me and said, "Barb, I'm so sorrrrrryyyy!!!" Yeah, right, it was a big fat lie and made me look like a complete idiot on local tv.

Then there was the time we got a call about Malinda's stolen cell phone. We jumped in the car and headed to East Nashville (I guess "east" in any city is a bad place to be). On the way, we realized that if we disappeared, no one knew where we had gone. The fact that we were to meet the guy behind the gas station should have been a tip-off. I don't recall how it went, but we're still here.

But the best adventure or worst---would be our visit to a nude beach in St. Maartens---where Miss Goodie Two Shoes Here (that would be me) did not want to go---having been coerced by her friends to find that the only nude people on the beach shouldn't have been. Upon returning to our cars, we found that the Potters wallets had been stolen. Carma's a bitch...

So here we are at her birthday last night. We stitched first (every Tuesday) and then went to dinner. She picked Cinco de Mayo---I told her it didn't have to be a cheap place even though I'm on a fixed allowance. Upon ordering, I made sure the waiter knew it was her birthday. I'll do anything for a free dessert. What I didn't know was that during the singing part, one of the waiters fed her part of the dessert. She said she's going to "get me" for this.

I love you Connie and this is my love letter to you....
your "bestie!"