Monday, October 8, 2007

I'll Call Mindy's PMS and Raise a Menopause!

Maybe the "young" folks have to deal with a little PMS, but getting older is no picnic either! I've already reported the relocation of my eyelashes to my chin. Well, that isn't the half of it! Let's start with the eyesight. Okay, been wearing readers for years---not a problem. But try taking a shower blind. I have my shampoo and conditioner in a precise order as the printing on the bottle is so small, that you need a magnifying glass with your regular glasses anyway. Occasionally, my cleaning lady will switch the bottles. You'd think I'd realize that the conditioner is opaque while the shampoo is clear. I've shampooed with conditioner and rinsed with shampoo more times than I like to admit.

As if shampooing blind isn't bad enough, you need to try shaving. About a year ago, I discovered after my shower that I had a huge wad of underarm hair that had slid out from under my armpit. Now mind you, I've never had to shave in that spot before. Somehow, my armpit had moved without me knowing it. Either it's gravity or weight that pulled it down! I find myself shaving halfway down my side these days. But yesterday was the worst. I was nearly finished shaving when I realized that I had the razor upside down and thus hadn't shaved anything. Well, that's just too darn bad as I had already neared my 7 minute shower limit (I'm always on a tight time schedule). The re-shaving will have to wait until my next regular scheduled shaving next month--due to hair loss from getting older, I don't have much left. If the young people would realize that they only have to wait 30 years, they get a Brazilian for FREE!

Gravity isn't very nice to the body as we age. Most women my age have to deal with the boobs heading south. Well, that's not a problem for me, but I must admit, my "girls" standing at attention all the time doesn't look quite right either.

I've been to the doctor for what I was sure were some early skin cancers only to be told that I had "age related" warts---twice! I've had skin tags removed---I'll be doing that on my own from now on. I can snip them with my sharp little Gingher scissors and save a bunch.

I won't even go into hot flashes, nightsweats and the dreaded colonoscopy. And to top it all off, I think my back is going out!! I've never had back problems before, but I guess when you have lower back pain and can barely stand up, that's what it means.

I do believe that Menopause definitely trumps PMS! Give me a pimple anyday---ahhh, those were the days!


  1. I'll go "all in" and agree that menopause takes the pot! I definitely have things popping up & out that I never had to deal with before. And speaking of colonoscopies - I've been putting it off but finally scheduled it before my trip. Happy Birthday to me....

  2. I "fold". I don't want to get any older.....seems there's not a lot to look forward to!!!


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