Nurse Ratchett---who me?

I've been accused of many things in my life, but "Nurse Ratchett" has never been one of them. 

After my mom's recent open-heart surgery, I guess I deserve it. It has been a busy couple of weeks for the Zimmermann's (except Joyce, who couldn't come in---and maybe "the boys" who aren't much help). I happen to be at home for a couple of days to attend to some "Eads" family obligations. I'm returning to St. Louis tomorrow---Memorial Day to resume my new nursing duties. Thank God it's not my lifetime calling. And thank God for sisters that can provide relief. How do you spell relief? S-I-S-T-E-R-S----sounds like a scrapbook page to me! Too bad I haven't taken any pictures. I do try to be compassionate with my picture taking. I don't want anyone taking "ugly" pictures of me either.

Here are a few of my recent observations---come on, sometimes all you can do is laugh!!

1. Withdrawal of the breathing tube and associated tape after mom's surgery resulted in a free mustache removal.

2. I have a deep yearning to learn new things, but this isn’t really what I had in mind. Let’s just say, I’m learning more about bodily functions than I ever cared to know.

3. I’ve decided that a man created Ted hose since they are torture devices. I’m surprised he had the guts to put his name on them.

4. An incentive spirometer by any other name is still a breathing hell.

5. Milk of Magnesia REALLY works!! About 16 times! Thanks Janice and Jennifer for THAT!!

6. Now I know why they call them portable toilets---you get to tote the bucket.

7. Jeanne can’t handle unusual smells and fakes phone calls to avoid them.

8. Mom wants the words “breathe deep” removed from our vocabulary.

9. After having trouble breathing, mom blew a marble sized “thing” out of her nose. It sort of freaked me out as nothing was mentioned about this in the 5,000 pages I GOT to read. Turns out to be normal when you are on oxygen.

10. And this has nothing to do with the surgery, but if you live alone, why do you need air freshener in your private bathroom?

I'm just glad that mom is getting better and better each day. I will definitely be earning the Nurse Ratchett title this week as I make her go outside and move around a WHOLE lot more! I'll keep you posted on how that works out!